A Particularly Modest Proposal

For Preventing Cisgender Boys From Being a Burden to Their Transgender Peers, and for Allowing Them the Benefit of Fair Play

March 13, 2022

It is a melancholy object to those, who play school sports in this great state of Indiana, when they see the fields crowded with cisgender boys, shoving transgender athletes aside as they flock onto the grass. I think it is agreed by all parties, that this issue of cisgender athletes stealing the spotlight from trans boys is a significant grievance; and therefore whoever could find a solution that ensures fairness among all young male athletes, would deserve so well of the publick, as to have her statue set up for a preserver of the nation.

I do therefore humbly offer it to publick consideration, that of the many students who wish to participate in school sports, the cisgender individuals be excluded for the benefit of all.

For first, it is important to consider the hormonal biology of your typical cisgender male; their testosterone makes them physically stronger than their transgender counterparts, giving them a natural advantage, which cannot be remedied without extensive treatment. It should be required, I propose, that cisgender boys provide evidence that they have undergone Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), in which case they may be allowed to join the boys’ team; assuming, of course, that they have lived as such for a period of one year or greater.

Secondly, whereas the hormonal biology of a cisgender male may be altered, it is rather impossible to change their innate physical traits, such as bone structure. As this issue can never be resolved, we must look to another possible proposal, that of forming independent “cis leagues;” under such conditions, cisgender kids could still be included in sports, without spoiling the sanctity of fair play in standard boys’ and girls’ leagues.

Thirdly, although competition is assuredly the most important aspect, which we must consider in debate of this issue, another problem could arise, if we were to allow cisgendered individuals in boys’ locker rooms, in that they might make our transgender athletes uncomfortable. As recently as 2019, it was found that twenty-seven per cent of transgender boys had been sexually assaulted within the past year, in a study of over three thousand transgender and non-binary youths, spanning grades 7 through 12 (Murchison et al.). To resolve this issue, it may be prudent to create separate locker rooms for cisgender individuals, ensuring that cis boys do not take shared locker rooms as an opportunity to assault other members of boys’ teams.

Many other advantages may be enumerated, such as a renewed interest in school sports, and although cisgender boys may feel their masculinity threatened, through their exclusion from boys’ teams, this is a small price to pay, in the interest of fairness and competition.

I can think of no valid objection to this proposal, as all young athletes will benefit from segregating teams to ensure they remain competitive. The knowledge which is gained, the numerous lessons that can be learned through sport, the joy of the game – none of these can currently exist, while trans boys are still forced to play alongside children who carry an innate and insurmountable biological advantage.

Thusly, to any lawmaker, who has on his desk, a bill proposing the removal of cisgender males from boys’ teams, I implore you to consider the question, and do what is right for fairness, and to relieve the discomfort of our trans youths, in signing said bill.

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